p://www.imeem.com/greglaswell/music/sPjMe9Dn/greg-laswell-your-ghost/">Your Ghost - Greg Laswell

Just to be
in a movie or TV
I'd have given anything
to feel you come
and if nothing else
just hold me...

my tears
fall on
deaf ears
because I
suffer in silence
for fear
that I'll be told
I'm supposed to be
more over your
body growing cold...

though I'd give
anything I had
and borrow some too
just to be
back in the
arms of you...

why can't we be
like we used to be?
why can't you
please
just be here
for a moment
to bring peace
back to me?

I lay awake
in empty beds
running from silence
afraid to be alone
with myself
without you -
what else is there
left for me
to do?

Nothing that
has come after
has even come close
to you -
you were one of
a select few
a poet
that never wrote
but artistic
in every quote
that I attempt to
capture
in every note...

as if
laying down
with your words
will make
your absences
hurt less
or me
not so much
a mess
but you took
my best
and what I got now
is just
what's left...

can't stand to
see him smile
as he walks round
round here
all your mannerisms
and moves
feeling to my brokenheart
ever so vile -
what kind of mother
thinks that
when looking at
her own child?

But last night
like all the ones before
found me there
looking for,
reaching for - you
and you weren't anywhere
and it even hurts
for me to try to care
about anything else
I want you back
for myself...

calling old phones
just wishing it
accidently
made it to heaven
and made it so
I wasn't really
this alone
you just
someplace that
you can't come home
like jail
back in the day -
I'm in my zone

waiting for reality
to have mercy on me
and make this love
I know we had
be something that again
I put my finger on
and say I can see...

but that's not how
things were
meant to be -
is it?
so tell me
what do I do now
with all this shit?

cause I can't stand
to be alone with me
even
anymore
and truth be told
baby -
on trying...

I just want to quit

p://www.imeem.com/artists/matt_hires/music/E46L3ose/matt-hires-out-of-the-dark-album-version/">Out Of The Dark (Album Version) - Matt Hires

If even fools can
find their way out
and I am even half as smart
as you say I am
than why can't I
get away from here?
gave it all up
to my Lord
the fear
still am I
stuck in this dark
that hurts me
in blindsiding blows of
little things that send
constant reminders
of his laugh
and his smell
and all the stories
to me he'd lay in bed
and tell

why can't I
find my way back
to the land that is
high?
cause I am out of breath
and these sighs
are but the sounds
of a soul that wants nothing
but him back
but too grounded
in the reality
that this will never be
that he'll come again
once more
to heal
all that's wrong
with me...

so please
help me

I can't find
my smile
and our son's
only makes me cry more
like his mannerisms
and his faith in me
to make all that's wrong
right
I can't
not tonight
seems like even
when I thought I did
I find myself
with a face that's tight
cause I didn't
not quite
only did I
place band-aids
on bleeding moments
in time
but still
the wrongs are there
in our everyday
just as they are
all my rhymes

violent are these days
that replay in my mind
with no peace to find
and of days filled with
their kind
I can't seem to muster
my spirit lacks it's
old familiar luster
I am just
a shell of
what was once her
only you can't see
cause I always did
keep guarded
the real me

but he knew me

and who will
help me?

who will?
who can?
they can't even
understand
much less over
so I don't get there -
I don't get anywhere
and each day
less and less
do I care

can't you see it
telling my truth
in my stare?

help me Lord
I have lost my sword
and come to You
seeking no reward
just a silence
that doesn't cut
down to the bone
and a place
in this world
where I don't feel
so alone

please Father
take me home...

help me

please

please help me

I lost my way
and no longer can I see
why ever You
bothered with me
what You thought
they'd see
and all that is conveyed
in any lines or actions anymore
is more pain
than in which
anyone should ever be
epitomized
in the very existence
of me

please God
help me

won't you please
help me

before there's nothing left
and what I was
is lost forever
in misery