I realize
that what I've shown
leaves much to be desired
and for the position I aspire
much is required
it's just that I get caught up
trying to keep them
from being under my spell
so when you were able to
look past me a few times
yet still smile
than it looked like
it was going well...

that way if I got scared
you'd not be shaken
and stable still is the grounding
of we - that be
all that consumes the
thoughts of me
almost hard to breathe
feeling like I'm in a museum of glass
afraid to say too much to you
for fear of sounding crass
worried bout tarnishing that spirit
of yours that shines like brass
thinking even sometimes
a man like you -
is out of my class

still I got nothing
but well wishes for what you want
even if the sound of your voice
playing background to the song I sang all day
finds a place from which to taunt
I can do anything so say you
so surely I can control that which haunts
who I would rather be

wondering when unattended
if with training I be what you want of me?
wondering more so what you see?
and if these well wishes and
prayers to end up in the arms of you
from some time soon to again and again
is in vain
simple and plain

need to know if
my exploring the areas of gray
are going to help you stay
so you can see how it's all black & white
in the shit that I believe
and the things that I say
unintentionally a walking, talking
contradiction like
night & day
in the same place
sitting the same way

cause
the latitude & longitude
of me laying long ways
cross the end of my bed
like the L's laid in front of me
leads right to the
lessons life taught you
living inside of me
waiting to love you
is you find me
beneath the sea
of what they want you to see
I think you could love
me for who I be

take deep breathes
and say fuck all the rest
when it comes down to what we have
being put to the test
tell me we got that
and you got that
all of this
and everything that comes with
Cat
making all the other kisses
sent disengenuious well wishes
meant to send you floating
away from this paradise
and it's two fishes

mutable be we
like the tides that guide
you and me
that's going to manifest
what is wished for by both parties
to that which can be called
nothing more than
destiny