He'd know I was
about more principles
than morals as defined by
the world we live in
because they got lost
in translation of
doctrines and democracies
and as much as I love
to argue policies
right and wrong
have goal posts
in the field of my
perception
that leaves room for
some sideways antics
but only so much
before
you are considered
out of bounds
and out of the game
if missed enough
when it matters most
and what's on the line
is a reason that
is being fought for
to prove
is more than a season
though the time passing
is kept by the clock
every second is a new
2 minute drill
waiting to see if
your passion can
compete with your will
and every point matters
the game lasting as long
as you live
and find yourself
as apt to forgive
as you expect of others
mercy in my arms
this peace
shouldn't set off alarms
because you prayed
for this peace
to be still
but surely you know
it can't
but baby
I will
if really
were you ready
to kiss goodbye
the who's, what's, and why
and give faith
a try
otherwise
I've wasted fare
getting here
standing as your answer
and you can't even
see me clear
blocked and jaded
by fear
of what is unknown about
the future
as if you'll ever know
as you skepticism
waves goodbye
and reluctantly
the hope is made
to let go

Remember like yesterday the first time ever I saw you smile,
have made a mental recording of the sound of your laugh.
Laid bricks to a foundation for a home that may take a while,
thought honestly that by now you'd see the math.

Willingly add to what I brought to the table,
see how these dreams of mine carried all yours in tow.
Always thought you'd come to me when you were able,
but these days I just don't know.

Wrote you the words I couldn't find the nerve to say,
watched while you read them and said you understood.
The only real third party to this be the part you play,
that leaves me wondering always "what's really good?"

Uneasy feeling now like this waiting is in vain,
and about how bright this future could be must I think again.

I'd be arrogant in the eyes of most
if I internalized the love
like I do the criticism
and said I was an angel
cast down from heaven
cause even in my formation
I made the mistake of thinking
as opposed to complete submission
sent to see what it's like
to really have sins to forgive
since I was the one
acting like I really knew
what it was to live
second guessing eternity
and taking advantage of timeless
like it's not a gift

I'd be called crazy
if I bought into the hoopla
that what I do with words
whether they be written or spoken
is divinity in motion
feeding souls what is missed
between heaven and earth
and it's in the lives I've touched
not created that I find my worth
cause this is greater than
the enlightened continuation
of all that I see or be

I'd be all kinds of bitches
if I put on blast all the chics
that my very presence gave birth
to the existence insecurities
when really I came along
with my own little world
and what's in theirs I can't see
thing was the light
made it impossible
to not see me

I'd be lacking humility
if I went ahead and embraced
that beyond a shadow of a doubt
He is by choice
for purposes unknown to you
using me

but He just might be

Yesterday I was trying to show love - effortlesslY
Ever so nice was it...me singing praises to hE
As if I wasn't who I was until he noticed my personA
Happily sharing accolades but then that got tougH

What a surprise to learn he didn't see what he said he saW
Hurt a little but but I masked the pain in an out of place cougH
Acting like I lost my breath from something's aromA
Though really I wanted to say what I really thoughT
Everything in me said "wait your day will comE"
Verily will what is to come cut like a shiV
Ending all doubt about where the mold ended when madE
Right before your eyes but only afteR...

More time passes and the mission gains momentuM
React not now because the lesson is in the next chapteR

Not claiming to be right
still it remains true
long as my daddy is breathing
there ain't nothing I could ever
need from you
not a test of your manhood
just the way it is
this bond goes deeper
than your dick
and the words you spit
you think are slick
my daddy REALLY loves me
while you get off
thinking you sound grown up
saying that you do
and ain't got the first clue
think sacrifice is counted
in a few less nights out spent
when it's about
what you meant
not what you did
cause your company
is no pleasure when really
you'd still rather be absent
but are trying to act like
you'd never cause me pain
but when I say I don't need you
then you the one hurt again?
I don't get it
but I go for it
why not?
I mean you did indulge
my real sorrow
for a little bit
right?

I've attempted
over the course of
25 years
on countless pages
inked in innumerable tears
never shed from my eyes
to lay down in between these pages
a handbook to go along with
what comes along with this gift
that I call my craft
and what I can do with it
and your heart
if given some room to play
a part
in time
by my design
you may never understand
who or what I be
still you'll
be thankful you met me
and I...

I will thank God
that He made you
and recreate His image
of Himself in you
in ways that only I can do
as He works wonders
thru my pen
and I am bestowed with the power
to single handedly immortalize
mere men
like forever isn't a concept
defying the idea that
nothing that walks this earth
ever does so endlessly
but I know that
to not be...

though there be
no formula to my madness
remember there was none
to His mercy
laid over the least suspected
while seemingly missing
over those thought to be
most protected
these words do just that
for the souls of the broken
lost and thrown away
and there's no formula
my God just made me
this way