If ever I knew
what it was like
to have a single
thought at a time
than it must have been
when I was a child
and I don't recall

instead

I know nothing but days
of my brain and my heart
never being
on the same page
or any train of thought
headed the same way
at the same time
being this embattled within
ought to be a crime

but

even in the lack
of moments of solace
am I able still
to find peace
in brief moments
in this place
the battlefield
of my mind
leaving bread crumbs
to where we came from
in every line

always

will I be at war
does it seem
with the woman I am
and the woman about whom
I continuously dream
she that never angers
is enticed by danger
or gets fascinated
with strangers

but

she too be me
and who I let you see
is the rough draft
of a work in progress
hoping with every good deed
are my sins counted less
against me
cause I know He know
who I could have
turned out to be

she

revels in the asshole
could care less what you think
and wish you would
make the mistake
to share a thought
that wasn't asked for
so she could
flood the doors
of the walls we built
when we said "no more"

she

means well
but too often has caused pain
so to keep from happening again
says everything she means
straight no chaser
and accepts why then
them straight shots
can be cause
to erase her
for your world

but this girl

learns no lessons
the easy way
on any day
and challenges
the status quo
early, often & always
just so you know

please

if you are considering
at all an army to join
be it the one that fights
into the night
for my sanity
and sustainable peace
or lay down your weapon
and just cease

I (me, she, her too)

won't fight you
over and over
again and again
cause I'm already tired
after the daily battle
of the war
within